She waited. Waited for so many things to fall into place before she’d let herself book a boudoir session.
Her body to reach a weight goal.
Her kids to be older so she could be needed less.
For her birthday to come so she could enjoy a day off without feeling selfish.
For permission from others to do this for herself.
Legend says that woman is still waiting to this day.
If she had waited for her body to be this picture perfect shape, all the curves in all the right places, she might not have learned how to appreciate it exactly how it is now.
She would have missed her body uniquely stretching and folding, the way it looked in different lighting. The way it felt with lace or silk against it.
She might’ve missed the opportunity to give herself grace and compassion in this season of life.
To think back to all the versions of her body that she’s lived in, and let gratitude sweep over her.
If she had waited to stop being needed by people she might never have made it in here.
There will always be some chaos to clean up, a person to rescue, a shift to cover,
But instead, she finally recognized the need to press pause on life just so she could breathe again.
I’m so proud of her for taking care of herself that way.
If she had waited for her birthday, or Mother’s day, or vacation day from work, she might have felt too exhausted to even enjoy her time.
Instead of coming into the studio, she may have opted to stay in bed all day. To not take the time to doll herself up, to feel sexy and truly the center of attention. Coming to the studio would have felt more like a chore by that point.
But, she made the choice to say yes to herself, and by the time her birthday rolled around she treated herself like the queen she knows she is.
When she finally came into my studio, I wondered if she thought back to the belly that carried life inside, stretching and leaving sweet stripes behind to tell the tale. I wonder if she felt energy all the way down to her feet and thought about how many miles she has walked this far into life. All the textures her hands have explored, the lengths and colors her hair has been.
I wondered about how often she looked at herself like this before, if she looked surprised simply because her images were so stunning, or because she wasn’t expecting to recognize the woman in the frames. Maybe she thought she would see an airbrushed version of herself, instead she saw herself staring back exactly as she is.
Turns Out “Someday” isn’t a Date On the Calendar
“Someday” sounded harmless until she realized how much of her life she put there. That it’s not a real day on the calendar, it’s a space she kept postponing herself to.
Someday I will feel ready…
Someday I will have time…
Someday I will earn this…
She thought there would be a point when everything would line up perfectly and she’d think “okay, now I’m ready.”
But that day never came. It stayed just as far away the next day, and the next.
What came instead was the realization that she didn’t want another year of putting herself last. She didn’t want to look back at memories and realize she’d spent so much of her time waiting to be worthy of being celebrated, seen, appreciated.
She stopped waiting for someday, she chose today.
What Happened When She Stopped Waiting for the “Perfect” Version of Herself
When she finally stopped asking herself who she needed to become, and started asking what she wanted to do with who she is now, small ripples of change began.
Nothing changed overnight, hardly anything does. She still faced insecurities, doubt, moments of overthinking things. There were still moments that she questioned her own value and worth.
The difference was that she stopped giving those reasons power to make her stay still.
She started speaking even when her voice shook. She tried new things even if she doubted she would be good at them.
She let herself be seen before having everything completely figured out.
No, she didn’t become completely and utterly fearless. But she became curious, willing. Willing to take up space, to begin before feeling ready, willing to believe her life has meaning even if it’s not perfect.
She let herself make mistakes without using those moments as evidence that she was failing.
She let go of the version of her she thought everyone else expected of her, she became the woman she wanted to be.
She said yes to the style of clothes she’s always adored. Yes to silly games and moments of laughter. Yes to a boudoir session. Yes to a new hair style. Yes to a new hobby.
She stopped being stuck in the waiting and finally started living.
The Day She Let Herself Be Seen
The woman who waited finally became the woman who leapt.
Who let herself be seen, who finally truly looked at herself.
She stopped waiting for permission to love her body. She stopped trying to change the things about her body that she has spent years criticizing. She decided her body, this body, the one that has carried her through every season, every celebration, every beginning and becoming, was worthy of being celebrated exactly as it is.
There was something so powerful to her about looking at herself without searching for flaws. About letting her shoulders relax, her mind daydream and romanticize her life. Something so powerful about accepting the curves that exist, letting her skin be photographed, letting her femininity take up space.
She realized her body isn’t a before picture. It’s not something that needed to be fixed, a problem to solve, or an apology to make.
Her body is deserving of appreciation and love.
She realized sensuality and self love are not things she needed to wait for. She was deserving of love all this time. Sensuality and true femininity came to her naturally after she began to love herself. What’s more sexy than a woman who knows she’s sexy?
She stepped in front of the camera and stopped performing for the world. She understood the boudoir experience wasn’t about being desirable enough, or about becoming someone else’s fantasy. It wasn’t about looking like a different version of herself.
It was about seeing herself through her own eyes. Allowing herself to take up the whole frame. To be the center of focus, to be the most beautiful thing in the room.
And, with every image, something shifted. Her shoulders relaxed, her smile became more genuine. She began to move with a confidence that didn’t need to be posed.
What she saw in her photos wasn’t a version of herself that she had created for other people. It was a woman who finally started seeing herself with tenderness and affection.
When she left, she carried more than the stunning photographs with her. She carried the memory of the day she stopped hiding from herself, and let herself be seen.
Boudoir can be about photographs, but sometimes it becomes something much bigger. It can become a declaration:
I am here.
I am worthy.
I am allowed to love this body today.
Are You the Woman Who Waits?
You don’t need a new body to step in front of my camera. If you’ve been waiting for the right time, think of this woman’s story. It could be yours.
Come as you are. Take up space, create the photos that remind you just how powerful, sensual, and iconic you are.
It’s your body, your story, your moment.
You’re everything and more that you’ve been waiting for.
Comments +